Most of us had a wonderful Pentecost season! Since then, growth in the Work has continued and we are still receiving nearly 50% more responses to the telecast than we were a year ago—but with virtually no added stations. Because the response from Canada has been so outstanding (we've been on television there longer), my wife and I flew to Toronto for Pentecost weekend to hold an "open service" to which we invited several hundred of our subscribers in the Toronto area. With 80 new people, it was an inspiring occasion and, hopefully, will lead to more such semipublic meetings in the future. We do need to reach the people of this world with the "whole counsel of God" whenever possible.

It is absolutely VITAL that we remember at all times to be true "Philadelphians." The vast majority of our brethren came with the Global Church to help preserve the full Truth and to "do the Work" (Matt. 28:18-20). Most of our brethren, having been members of the Church of God for many years, knew Mr. Herbert Armstrong, understood the purpose for the Church and wanted to retain the "Philadelphian spirit.” But to keep our goals in clear focus, we need to ask from time to time, "What IS the Philadelphian spirit and HOW can we have and retain it?"

First of all, we should realize that Philadelphia literally means "brotherly love.” If we are to be genuine Philadelphians, we must—through God's Holy Spirit—truly follow Jesus' repeated command: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:34-35). Again: "This is My commandment. that you love one another as I have loved you" ( 15:12).

Later, John, "the apostle Jesus loved," repeats the command many times in his epistles. Here are just two examples: "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God.... He who does not love does not know God, for God is love" (1 John 4:7-8). "Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.... If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us" (vv. 11-12).

Most scholars indicate that John must have been more than 90 years old when he wrote these wonderful letters. As he grew older and realized his physical life was coming to an end, he recognized even more deeply that NOTHING is more important than the love and worship we should have for our God, and the outflowing LOVE, kindness, concern and affection we should have for one another. Truly, without this love, living together for all eternity would be sheer misery—an endless existence plagued by strife, competition, arguing and self seeking.

I know that a few of our "ultra-conservative" brethren get "nervous" if we talk too much about LOVE! They somehow think that we will get soft-headed, perhaps water down obedience to God's law or whatever.

Brethren, that is NOT going to happen! The leadership in the Global Church of God has been "tried in the fire" many times. We will always teach obedience to the law and way of God.

But all of us must realize that the very PURPOSE for God's law is love. It is magnified by Christ and by His apostles in the New Testament. We are told time and again about the various ways to express God's love to one another—through encouragement, service, hospitality, affection, patience, forbearance, forgiveness, etc. If every one of us could truly grasp this vital concept, if we would fervently meditate on this, pray about it and then zealously try to LIVE this way—we would all indeed become and remain Philadelphians.

Then this outflowing love for ALL our fellow men would lead us naturally to want to reach out to them with God's precious Truth. For one of the identifying signs of the Philadelphia Church listed in Revelation 3 is that its members do the Work. Christ, speaking through John, says, "I know your works. See, I have set before you an open DOOR, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength" (v. 8).

Remember that God uses the term "door" as an opportunity to preach the Truth: "And when they had come and gathered the church together, they reported all that God had done with them, and that He had opened the DOOR of faith to the Gentiles" (Acts 14:27). Again: "But I will tarry in Ephesus until Pentecost. For a great and effective DOOR has opened to me, and there are many adversaries" (1 Cor. 16:8-9). Next: "Furthermore, when I came to Troas to preach Christ's gospel... a DOOR was opened to me by the Lord" (2 Cor. 2:12). And again: "Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving; meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a DOOR for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains" (Col. 4:2-3).

The most powerful door in our generation to preach the Truth—so far, at least—has been television. For those tuning in not only hear but SEE the speaker, and are more heavily influenced as a result. Educational psychologists tell us that we learn detailed information more efficiently by reading than by any other means. But they have also "discovered"—which the Living Christ knew all along—that people are emotionally aroused and moved to action more by the spoken word than by reading alone. That is why television is such a powerful tool!

So we who are Philadelphians must do all that we can to go through the open doors of television, radio, publishing—and now the Internet—as best we can with the means that God provides. True Philadelphians are known for their ZEAL for God's Work.

Another definite characteristic of Philadelphians is stated later in Revelation 3:8, where Christ says that they have "kept My WORD, and have not denied My NAME.” Certainly, we must always retain and constantly reinforce our enthusiasm for really studying, understanding and then LIVING the Word of God. And God's "name" refers to His authority—which we must recognize with respect to His Word, His rule and His form of government in the Church.

Finally, Christ tells the Philadelphians, "Because you have kept My command to PERSEVERE, I also will keep you from the hour of trial which shall come upon the whole world, to test those who dwell on the earth. Behold, I come quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown" (vv. 10-11). In this passage, God says to "persevere" and to "hold fast what you have.” True Philadelphians will NOT "water down" the Truth, our zeal for doing the Work, or the practice of learning and putting into action the Government of God, for which we have been placed here on earth to learn and later administer.

If we enthusiastically yield to let Christ live in us, if we learn to more fully express His LOVE to God and to our fellow man—and also to retain our ZEAL for His Word and for doing the Work—He promises us in Revelation 3:12-13, "He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. And I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

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As we fully explain in this issue, nothing is more important than Christian love and outflowing concern toward God and toward our fellow human beings. Nothing.

Nevertheless, a vital counterpoint to this wonderful and all encompassing truth is that we must truly learn to hate evil-not the people who perpetrate evil, but evil actions themselves. For evil thoughts, words and deeds are literally DESTROYING the deep joy, peace and prosperity that should be abundantly shared by all of humanity! So although we should not dwell on it unduly or become overly morbid, it is important that our hearts and minds be sensitive to what evil is. It's vital that we do not become "desensitized" and begin to conform to the attitudes, words or actions of this modern world, which is becoming more and more ABOMINABLE in the sight of Almighty God.

He tells us in His inspired Word, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world" (1 John 2:15-16). And note what the Apostle James was inspired to write: "Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God" (James 4:4).

I am not writing these words to our general readership, but rather to our members and other subscribers of the Global Church News, who have, by and large, a greater familiarity with the Word of God. If we do indeed have God's Holy Spirit guiding our minds, we need to begin to put up an even stronger "defense system" against the assaults of Satan the Devil—the "prince" of this world (John 14:30). Why? Because through his broadcast of rebellious and twisted ideas and attitudes, and through the entertainment media that he so mightily influences, more and more rotten , and perverted concepts are being "broadcast" to this mixed-up world. Truly, Satan is "the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience" (Eph. 2:2).

Through Satan's relentless and unceasing propaganda efforts, more and more of even the professing Christian world is beginning to accept and embrace the idea of murdering unborn children. Some authorities have estimated that more than 35 million unborn BABIES have been intentionally aborted within the last quarter century in the United States alone! But now, RU-486, the so-called "abortion pill," has been approved for sale in this country. Already used in many European nations for years, RU-486 causes a woman to abort her baby without the need for visiting a clinic. The mother can just MURDER the unborn child quietly, privately and with the total acquiescence of our professing Christian nations!

Speaking on the practice of homosexuality, the Apostle Paul wrote of the great philosophers, and "opinion makers" of his day: "Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion" (Rom. 1:24-27 NIV).

In the final verse of this passage that so strongly condemns these sexual perversions, Paul writes about educated men and women who, "knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also APPROVE of those who practice them" (v. 32). You see, God holds us accountable if we endorse, sponsor or in any way approve of such lawless—behavior even though we ourselves may not be practicing it! Obviously, we must not hate or physically attack abortionists or sexual deviants. We must OBEY the laws of the land as long as they do not force us, personally, to disobey God's laws. But the Bible does tell us to "have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather EXPOSE them" (Eph. 5:11 ). The Greek word translated "expose" is often rendered "reprove.” And God commands His faithful ministers, "CRY ALOUD, spare not; lift up your voice like a trumpet; tell My people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their SINS" (Is. 58:1).

The May 5, 1998, Wall Street Journal featured an article by the respected writer, Roger Kimball. Titled "What Next, a Doctorate of Depravity?," it began with these words: "Here we go again. Last fall, the State University of New York at New Paltz sparked a firestorm by holding a conference called `Revolting Behavior: The Challenges of Women's Sexual Freedom.' It featured workshops on subjects such as `Sex Toys for Women,' at which a New York sexshop owner illustrated the use of various sexual appliances, and `Safe, Sane and Consensual S/M: An Alternate Way of Loving,' at which students were invited `to explore society's perceptions' of sadomasochism and `find out what it means to the people within the S/M community."'

After describing some other instances of gross perversion and misuse of public institutions and monies, Mr. Kimball goes on to state, "Only a few years ago, so-called queer theory occupied a place on the fringes of academic respectability. Today it is one of the trendiest academic fiefdoms in the humanities, the occasion for myriad classes, conferences, articles, journals and books. Harvard, Stanford, Duke, Columbia and the University of California at Berkeley were among the prestigious institutions represented at `Queer Publics/Queer Privates: "

Do any of us imagine that these vile teachings have no effect upon our people—especially upon our youth?

Just, how different are we from the ancient culture of Sodom and Gomorrah? The answer is clear—not different enough!

In fact, such perverse attitudes and behavior are prophesied to get worse and WORSE as the American and British-descended peoples plunge ever further into degradation. Speaking of the "last days" in general, the Apostle Paul writes, "But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived" (2 Tim. 3:13).

The point for us, brethren, is that as we see these things occurring ever more frequently, we must learn to react as Jesus Christ would have us react. First, we are not to get bitter. We can and must properly hate the SIN and yet love the SINNER. Second, we must not allow ourselves to become too discouraged by the vile words, deeds and "happenings" around us. Remember what Jesus told His disciples about the wars, "fearful sights" and other catastrophes to occur just before His Second Coming. He said, "Now when these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near" (Luke 21:28).

As the saying goes, "it's darkest just before the dawn." And it will be a MAGNIFICENT dawn of a glorious new age when Christ returns in full power as King of kings! So let us constantly pray for and anticipate the return of Jesus Christ and the establishment of the Kingdom of God on this earth!

Meanwhile, we who are now called by God to be in the first resurrection must truly "come out" of this world. We must NOT "love the world or the things in the world." We must NOT allow our consciences to be seared, our spiritual sensitivities to be calloused, or our deep awareness of what is right and what is wrong to be watered dawn by the incessant bombardment of Satan's many propaganda efforts. For God warns us, "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!" (Is. 5:20).

In the New Testament, God tells us, "ABHOR what is evil. Cling to what is good" (Rom. 12:9). As a Church and as Christians individually, we do need to genuinely abhor the rotten, perverted, vile words and practices all around us. As the Bible points out, righteous men and women will "sigh and cry over all the abominations" done in our midst (Ezek. 9:4). We must not "water down" the fact that so many things done in our modern world are truly evil and VILE.

Again, we who are called of God must band together to CRY OUT and tell our people their transgressions-loud and clear. We must then warn them of the Great Tribulation soon to occur unless this world repents. And we must give them the inspiring MESSAGE of the coming Kingdom of God and point out to them their opportunity to be part of it—if they will repent and turn to the true Jesus Christ of the Bible with all their hearts.

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Life is full of challenges! One of the greatest is learning how to handle problems that arise with other individuals. We often ask ourselves, "How am I supposed to deal with difficult people?"—whether at school, on the job, in our families or even in the Church. Are there sound ways to cultivate better relationships with people who are hard to deal with? Are there proven principles that work?

We're all aware of the biblical teaching that we should love one another—in fact that we should love our neighbor as ourselves. Most of us would readily agree that this was a core, foundational part of Jesus Christ's ministry. Yet we often overlook the fact that Jesus' New Testament teaching was itself based on an Old Testament principle (Lev. 19:18). For outflowing love was always the basis of God's way of life. Jesus, however, expanded the concept, emphasizing, "But I say to you, love [even] your enemies, bless [even] those who curse you, do good [even] to those who hate you, and pray [even] for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be the sons of your Father in heaven" (Matt. 5:44-45). This probably sounds incredibly naive to most people in the 90s!

But did Christ actually mean what He said? If so, how could we really do such a thing? If we're trying to live a Christian life, we may feel comfortable if we go to Church regularly and don't lie, steal or commit adultery. We probably feel pretty good about ourselves if we refrain from punching people out when they give us a bad time and, instead, just give them a few pointed words about how we feel. After all, we aren't perfect. And besides, we're probably entitled to tell someone off once in a while. Right? Nearly everybody does it. Even good people—now and again. But do these methods really solve interpersonal problems? Not at all. On the contrary, in today's increasingly violent world, such responses can incite even more volatile reactions!

The Bible reveals that God has a better way of solving and preventing problems in our relationships with others. While some books promote the concept of "winning through intimidation," the Bible outlines a very different approach. Christ plainly stated, "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you" (John 15:12). And the Bible provides simple, practical and powerful steps for building better relationships with people based on true Christian love. Our challenge is learning how to apply these God-given principles.

The Power of Patience

A fundamental element of character essential in building better relationships is patience. Jesus emphasized this quality on numerous occasions (Luke 8:15; 21:19). The book of Hebrews exhorts Christians to "run with endurance the race that is set before us" (12:1)—that is, to run patiently. Yet patience doesn't just suddenly appear in our lives. It must be developed over time, a process that requires determination and self discipline. And trials and difficulties are the crucibles that forge patience. The Apostle James wrote, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience" (James 1:2-3). God will actually use trials to help us develop patience as He molds and fashions us in His image. And the value of patience in dealing with difficult people and trying situations is no secret.

There's an old saying about "counting to ten" before reacting in anger. Good advice! For in so doing, we will often avoid making costly and regrettable mistakes. The Bible similarly tells us, "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back" (Prov. 29:11; cf. 12:16). Once we have said or done something to another, it can rarely be completely undone in this life—even if we do our best to make amends. So by learning to be patient, we can avoid creating problems or adding to existing ones.

In learning to be more patient, we must eliminate spontaneous angry responses ( 16:32), avoid making snap judgments (18:13) and take time to find out both sides of issues (v. 17). We should make an effort to understand the motives behind people's actions (cf. 14:12). When we practice patience we can be more objective-more level-headed. The Bible states, "The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and it is to his glory to overlook a transgression" (19:11). Developing patience, then, is the starting point for building better relationships.

Sweet Revenge?

You may have heard the comment, "I don't get mad, I get even!" In fact, this is "normal reasoning" in our tit-for-tat world. But it's plainly wrong! This approach may only promote further retaliation. And it certainly won't bring about reconciliation. To end strife and build better relationships, someone has to take the high road and set a different tone. Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God" (Matt. 5:9). To promote peace, Christ instructed His disciples to "turn the other cheek" to an oppressor and to "go the extra mile" when burdened by another (vv. 38-42). This is rarely easy, but it's what God is looking for in future glorified members of His Family. , The Apostle Paul advised, "Be patient with all. See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all" (1 Thess. 5:14-15).

So how do we respond if we can't retaliate in kind? King Solomon tells us, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Prov. 15 :1 ). He says elsewhere that "the words of a wise man's mouth are gracious, but the lips of a fool shall swallow him up" (Eccl. 10:12). Two wrongs don't make anything right. As Christians, we are to treat others the way we want to be treated ourselves—not always as we are treated! (Luke 6:31). This may require some new behavior patterns for many of us. It's not how most people we encounter react. To walk on this path, we'll need self-discipline, a desire to obey God's instructions and faith in the promises found in Scripture. Through Paul, God tells us, "If possible, and to the extent that it depends on you, live in peace with all people. Never seek revenge, my friends; instead, leave that to God's anger; for in the [Old Testament] it is written, `[The Lord] says, "Vengeance is my responsibility: I will repay""” (Rom. 12:18-19 Jewish New Testament). In the final analysis, we have no need to retaliate. For if we do our part, God promises to do His!

The Process of Forgiveness

The Bible reveals that God willingly forgives when we repent and ask for His pardon. And in this—as in all natters—we are to take on the very character of our Creator. Therefore, Jesus taught His disciples to not only ask forgiveness for themselves, but to be ready to forgive others as well (Matt. 6:12). In fact, Jesus also pointed out that if we are not willing to forgive others, God will not forgive us! (vv. 14-15). How many times have you heard of friends or family members who refuse to speak to each other—sometimes for years—because neither one is willing to overlook and forgive some past offense! And it doesn't stop with one offense. Christians must be willing to forgive not just once or twice, but “seventy times seven" (18:21-22)—a literary expression that clearly means "as many times as necessary."

Now willingness to forgive does not mean being a fool and letting someone simply take advantage of you time and again. The biblical principle is that we should be "wise as serpents and harmless as doves" (10:16). But when someone sincerely asks to be forgiven, we should respond accordingly—even under difficult circumstances. And part of forgiveness means we must never hold grudges. Christ forgave His executioners because He knew they were unaware of the evil spiritual power that motivated their actions (Luke 23:34). If you are willing to be led by God's Spirit, you will want to accord others the same understanding and compassion.

Understanding Is Vital

To build better relationships, we should also try to find out where other people are coming from. We should try to discover what's motivating their actions—why they are acting as they are. The Apostle Peter, discussing marital relationships, states that husbands should dwell with their wives "with understanding, giving honor to the wife" (1 Peter 3:7). This, however, is a key for developing a positive relationship with anyone. People appreciate respect. It sends a powerful message. And even if we abhor what someone has done—or is doing!—we should at least be able to respect him or her as a fellow potential heir of the Kingdom of God with whom we may well spend all of eternity!

When personal problems arise, our first reaction is probably to avoid the other party. We may find ourselves complaining to others about this person. But neither of these activities builds positive relationships or solves the problem. True Christian behavior does! Jesus says to go to the person who has offended us (Matt. 18:15-17)—or to whomever we may have offended (5:23-24) and offer to resolve the problem. Sometimes you may have to involve a third party or even the leadership of the Church to facilitate the process.

How we approach another person in such a situation is very important. If we wish to act according to God's instructions, we must be gentle (Gal. 6:1 ), be willing to listen (cf. James 3:17) and avoid making any hasty accusation (Matt. 7:1-5). Jesus taught His disciples to "agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him" (5:25). In others words, strive to find some common ground so as to settle the matter. Make your goal reconciliation, not self justification or the humiliation of the other person. David wrote in the Psalms, "Seek peace, and pursue it" (34:14). This requires going directly to another individual in a positive and patient attitude. And as we saw in Proverbs 17:9, it also involves not spreading the problem around to those who are not involved.

Give of Yourself

Perhaps when faced with interpersonal problems, we often throw up our hands, saying, "I just can't take this anymore!" We all get frustrated from time to time—especially when we focus too much on ourselves. So when someone else irritates or upsets us, it can be a real challenge. But no matter how frustrated we become, we must realize that we can't change the other person. We can only make adjustments in ourselves. A good place to start would be to focus outwardly, on others, rather than on ourselves. Jesus taught that "it is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).

Therefore, when we're having problems with another person we need to ask what we can do to improve the situation. Solomon wrote, "A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men" (Prov. 18:16). If someone's upset with you, think about what you can offer that will have a calming effect. Can you lend an understanding ear, express an attitude of concern or speak a word of encouragement? Showing that you understand—or that you at least want to understand—is both disarming and conciliatory. But this involves giving of yourself—not being overly concerned about yourself! Since we all want to have friends, we should heed the well-known maxim: "A man who has friends must himself be friendly," even under adverse conditions (v. 24). We'll never build strong and positive relationships with others unless we are willing to give of ourselves.

Be Resourceful

Resolving interpersonal problems is seldom easy, but it's not impossible. God has given us His Word, His Spirit and human intellect to deal with such tasks. But to use these three tools most effectively, we will need to become resourceful. We must train ourselves to explore different options, seek advice, and make observations and judgments. We will have to work hard to have the best relationships! If we are going to forge better relationships out of difficult situations, we cannot afford to "faint in the day of adversity" (24:10). We can't just give up and quit. We must "endure to the end.”

. Husbands and wives, for example, can't just walk away from marriage and family whenever they have a disagreement. Likewise, it's seldom wise to just quit your job because of a problem with your boss or coworker. The best course, rather, is to resourcefully resolve the issue at hand.

A fundamental rule in human relationships is that two people cannot walk together unless they are in agreement (Amos 3:3). Building better relationships, then, involves finding common ground for agreement—identifying "win-win" solutions that will benefit both parties. The Apostle Paul, for example, was arrested by the Romans and sentenced to be publicly whipped. However, instead of becoming belligerent, angrily denouncing his captors and loudly declaring his innocence, he merely asked a very pertinent question: "Is it lawful for you to scourge a man who is a Roman [citizen], and uncondemned?" (Acts 22:25). That touched a nerve. The commander in charge realized that he was acting beyond the law and that his official position in the Roman army could be jeopardized., He concluded that it was in both his interest and Paul's to not proceed. To be resourceful, we must with God's help search out similar solutions when we face difficult interpersonal situations.

Jesus Christ is preparing to return to this earth as the Prince of Peace to establish a world-ruling Government (Is. 9:6-7). Under His direction, the nations will be taught to "beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into punning hooks" (2:4). Individuals will learn how to show love and concern for neighbors and family members. And difficulties between one man and another—or even one nation and another—will be resolved. To accomplish that task, God is calling and training a special group of people to help Him rule in the World Ahead as peacemakers. That, brethren, is our calling. We all need to take seriously the challenge of learning how to build better relationships with all of our fellow men.

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Therefore, leaving the discussion of the elementary principles of Christ, let us go on to perfection, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God of the doctrine of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment" (Heb. 6:1-2).

As we travel through life, we draw comfort from the fact that God Himself has put us on the right path. And He has given us signposts that direct us along His way.

But as we grow in character, we are challenged to go on to perfection, past the fundamentals, past the foothills of character development, and on to the steep, rocky, demanding cliffs that stretch the very limits of our endurance.

As we begin to live as true Christians, some of our first tests often involve learning to treat people in a godly way. We come to see the importance of loving our brother as ourselves, and of showing the agape love that comes from God's Spirit within us. As time goes by, we have hopefully improved in this regard. Most of us don't lose our temper and blow up at people as often as we used to. We're more patient with others. We compliment and encourage our brethren and go out of our way to show true, godly love toward all men and women.

But despite this, our relationships are never problem-free. In fact, some of the people we help the most don't even appreciate our efforts. We show love to our mate, or our children—yet in return, they may treat us with disrespect. We sacrifice to help one of our brethren at Church—yet in return, he or she sometimes snubs us.

Hopefully, this is not characteristic of most of our relationships. But if it happens even once, it's a trial. In fact, it's one of the most difficult, most discouraging trials that we will ever face as Christians. Maybe it's because it takes us past the fundamentals, going deep into our heart and core.

Perhaps it was discouraging for Christ as well.

In the book of John we read that Christ "was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him" ( 1:10-11 ). This was love unreturned—love unrequited.

How do we deal with this problem? Have we ever thought about it? We should, because how we react in the face of unrequited love gives a true reflection of where we are on the road toward spiritual maturity.

Let's look at our natural reaction first.

Human Nature

Isaac Newton discovered three I of the fundamental principles that govern physics—the way things naturally work in our physical world. They came to be known as "Newton's Laws.”

His second law deals with motion. It says, "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” And although it's not exactly analogous, can't the same thing often be said of human nature?

Our natural reaction is to "respond in kind" to someone who hurts us. And one of the worst hurts of all is when our actions and expressions of love are met with disregard, rejection or scorn. When this happens, we might well resort to what we learned on the playground. You call me dumb—I call you stupid. You say I'm ugly—I say you're even uglier. And on it goes.

Paul encouraged Christians in Rome not to give in to their natural reactions. "Love each other devotedly and with brotherly love; and set examples for each other in showing respect.... Bless those who persecute you—bless them, don't curse them!... Be sensitive to each other's needs—don't think yourselves better than others, but make humble people your friends.... Repay no one evil for evil.... Never seek revenge, my friends; instead, leave that to God's anger.... Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good" (Rom. 12:10-21 Jewish New Testament).

If we project the laws of physics onto the principles governing human relationships, we might say that "Newton's Law of Human Nature" goes something like this: "If you hurt me, I' m going to hurt you just as bad!"

And we all have to struggle against our human nature, not succumbing to this pull. It's very difficult, but with God's Spirit we learn not to react with "equal force." When the driver in front of us cuts us off, we learn not to race around his car to cut him off in return! When a neighbor gossips about us, we learn not to spread rumors about him or her in return.

But let's go a step further.

It's difficult to react properly to a stranger who has hurt us. But what if it's someone whom we've taken great pains to encourage? Whom we've bent over backwards to help—sacrificing our time and effort? Whom we've made a special point to "take under our wing" when he or she was new in the Church and had no friends?

What if, in return, a friend or loved one doesn't show Christian love toward us? What if he doesn't even seem to appreciate what we've done—treating us rudely, disrespectfully or haughtily.

Now THAT hurts!

King David expressed his feelings on just such a matter in Psalm 55: "For it is not an enemy who reproaches me; then I could bear it. Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me; then I could hide from him. But it was you, a man my equal, my companion and my acquaintance" (vv. 12-14).

Dealing with this "false friend" stretches the very limits of Christian maturity. We may find ourselves treating him with a show of love on the outside while inside we have no such feelings. Rather, we may dream about how we can get revenge. Of course, we might call it "teaching him a lesson" or "helping him to see what it feels like.” We might even fool ourselves into thinking that we're just interested in "helping our brother." But what we're really doing is coming under the sway of Newton's Law of Human Nature—hurt our brother just as hard as he's hurt us. And we've missed the opportunity to grow and move past the basics of Christianity.

So just how should we react? Though we all have natural reactions, we can train ourselves—through God's help—to act as Christ would in our personal relationships. And to accomplish this, we'll first have to study the examples He gave us. Let's start with a very basic principle: Don't demand from others what we ourselves don't live up to.

In Matthew 20, we read an account of "Mrs. Zebedee" trying to ensure eternal "job security" for her two sons, James and John. The two brothers were happy to participate in this request.

In verse 24, we read that the other disciples were understandably unhappy. Perhaps they thought, "What audacity! Those two should know better than that! After all we've learned from Christ, and this is how they act? Hmmph!"

Apparently, though, the two Zebedee boys didn't have a corner on the market when it came to ambition. Other passages show that arguing about who would be the greatest in the Kingdom was a problem ALL of them had (Mark 9:34; Luke 22:24). Yet it was so easy to criticize someone else.

And we, like them, certainly hold each other to high standards, don't we?

Take marriage, for example. The Bible gives us clear instructions as to how husbands and wives should act toward one another. And when our mate doesn't live up to God's guidelines, we probably become indignant. When he or she shows us disrespect or lack of appreciation, we think, "This is the thanks I get? After all I've done!"

But the standard we use to measure ourselves is somewhat different. It goes more like this: "I'm doing the best I can! What more do you want from me? After all, I'm not perfect!" We may have demanded perfection from our mate. But for us, "trying hard" is good enough!

And what about our fellow Christians? We often know how to act as Christ would Himself. And so do they! But when they don't live up to God's laws, our patience can grow very thin. How many times have we said, "They should know better than that!" or "They've been in the Church for all these years, and THIS is how they act?" Our respect for them diminishes. Our opinion of them sinks lower and lower. And instead of looking at them as our brethren, we attach labels—liars, gossips, etc. When they walk by, we see all their imperfections trailing behind. What they are clashes with the picture we have of what a Christian should be. When it comes to us, however, our thinking changes. We chalk our imperfections up to the fact that "I'm still growing" or that "God isn't finished with me yet.”

Thus, we often judge others by different criteria than we judge ourselves.

So before we become too indignant over the fact that our help, our sacrifice or our love has not been returned, we should remember that we've all fallen down in living up to God's standards. Not one of us has treated everyone else perfectly, including those who have helped us, sacrificed for us and shown love to us. With this thought in mind, let's move to the next point: Proceed to a higher level of forgiveness.

As We Forgive Those...

Forgiveness is one of the most basic building blocks of godly character. Jesus instructed us in Matthew 6:12 to forgive others every day. As we mature in the Christian way of life, forgiving should become easier.

Moreover, Christian conversion means forgiving in a way that is more than human. We must rise to a level of forgiveness that has no place for holding an offense over the "forgiven" person's head: Christ told us in Mark 11, "Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father '' in heaven forgive your trespasses" (w. 25-26). But is this always easy to do? Of course not. It takes an extraordinary degree of faith to be always willing to forgive in this manner. That's why, when Christ had told His disciples that they must forgive their brother continually if he repents, they answered Him, "Increase our faith"! (Luke 17:3-5).

When a person acts wrongfully toward us—he is really sinning against God. And God is the One from whom they ultimately need to ask forgiveness. The impact of their sin upon us is minuscule compared to its impact upon God. Why? Because Christ was tortured and put to death for that sin. In this light, our own suffering loses some of its significance.

It's EASY to forgive someone who recognizes his sin against us and comes begging for our pardon. That's a HUMAN trait. But to take on a continual overall attitude of forgiveness—that's a GODLY trait!

Of course, we should hope and expect that others will ultimately repent of their wrongs against us—just as God wants us to repent of our sins against Him, as we begin to see them more clearly throughout our life. But we can be thankful that God has not required us to catalog all of our sins and individually say words of repentance for each before working with us. For "the Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.... He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities" (Ps. 103:8-10). We must accord the same mercy to others.

Remember, God was willing to forgive us long before we expressed any repentance (Rom. 5:8). Yes, as mentioned, He does expect repentance of us. Yes, we must repent when we come to see our sin. But haven't we all committed sins we've forgotten to individually and specifically repent of? Haven't we all at one time or another sinned unknowingly? And yet, God's mercy and forgiveness will still cover those sins and wash them away with the shed blood of our Savior Jesus Christ!

We can have this confidence because God doesn't deal with us like we deal with each other. He doesn't hold grudges or "keep score.” Remember Christ's example? As misguided men under Satan's influence were nailing Him to the cross—and all of us are misled by Satan at times—Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do" (Luke 23:34). And as we mature in the Christian life, we must develop this same approach toward other people. The day may or may not come wherein they'll understand how much they need to apologize to us for whatever the offense may have been. But however the matter turns out, we must maintain an attitude of humility and willingness to pardon.

Realize that as life goes on, there will be times when our love is not returned in kind. And when that happens, remember not to place demands of Christian perfection upon others when we ourselves struggle and fall short of it! For if we are going to have real Christian growth—to deal with love that is unrequited, unreturned, unreciprocated—we must mature to a greater level of forgiveness. .

Godly Love

Here's another thought. Learn to show and feel and live unconditional love.

Just as God demands that we be willing to forgive others, He also requires that we actively show and express love to others.

Through the pages of the Bible, we see time and again that God's love wasn't based upon whether or not it was reciprocated. God loved Israel. And while the ancient Israelites often ignored and disrespected Him, nevertheless, He still loved them. In Matthew 23, Christ expressed the love that He had for Jerusalem and its people: "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!" (v. 37). Now that was unrequited love. Yet, despite the indignities its people heaped upon Him—ultimately putting even Him to death as well—Christ's love for Israel never flagged, never failed. And Jesus Christ is who we follow.

In Matthew 5, Jesus tells us how to deal with people who do not reciprocate the love and kindness we show them: "I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.... For if you love [only] those who love you, what reward have you?" (vv. 44-46). In other words, we're told to continue to do good, to show brotherly love to others, even when it's not returned! In fact, we should not even be expecting anything in return!

Paul reminded the Church at Rome of this very point. He said, "Let love be without hypocrisy.... Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love.... Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse" (Rom. 12:9-14). We don't just resign ourselves to be polite. Rather, we continue to express love—in thought and in deed just as if the individual in question were responding in kind.

Think about it this way. If we step on a piece of glass and our foot causes us pain, we don't say to our foot, "After all the good pairs of shoes I've bought for you, now you go and do this? I've had enough—I'm going to cut you off!" Just the opposite, we favor it—we're careful with it. But how quick we are to cut off other spiritual members of Christ's body—our brothers and sisters in the faith—when they hurt us. In the book of James, we read, "My brethren, these things ought not to be so"! (3:10).

After all, someone may not even have realized he was being unkind and may later feel terrible about it if he comes to see his mistake. He may be blinded to his impact on others because of the power of old habits.

So let our response be unconditional love. It is undoubtedly one of the highest and noblest of all human attributes, because it is in fact an attribute of the Great God Himself. And to the extent that we grow in expressing it, we will more truly reflect His very image.

Unrequited love must be responded to with continued love—unconditional love. This is the heart of agape love—unfeigned and unforced, even though sometimes unreturned—breaking the Satan-inspired human law of doing unto others as they have done unto us. Remember, God's law is to do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.

Dealing with unrequited love tests our ability to not demand or even expect a reward for our efforts in this life. We have faith that our reward is yet to come. And learning to forego instant gratification is a sign of true Christian maturity.

Patience and perseverance are important in our physical lives. Planting trees, getting an education, exercising, raising children-these things often take years to yield benefits. And so it is with treating others well, without regard to whether or not they appreciate it, respect us for it or return the kindness.

As James 5:7-9 tells us, "therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain. You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned. Behold, the Judge is standing at the door!"

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Are some of God's people actually going to flee right before the Great Tribulation? According to Jesus the answer is yes. He said, "And pray that your flight may not be in winter or on the Sabbath. For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be" (Matt. 24:20-21). As most of us know, the Global Church of God has been proclaiming the "Ezekiel warning" in sermons, in our literature and on the World Ahead telecast. But do we all realize that we need to be warned too!

Let this be perfectly clear: there are two groups of God's people mentioned in Revelation 12—one that goes to a place of safety and one that does not. It states, "But the woman was given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness to her place, where she is nourished for a time and times and half a time, from the presence of the serpent. So the serpent spewed water out of his mouth like a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away by the flood. But the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed up the flood which the dragon had spewed out of his mouth. And the dragon was enraged with the woman, and he went to make war with the rest of her offspring, who keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ" (vv. 14-17).

Note that just keeping the commandments of God and having the testimony of Jesus Christ are not enough to ensure that you will go into the "wilderness," be "nourished" and be protected from Satan's influence. For the dragon will make war with those who do not go.

Jesus Himself warned, "But take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness, and cares of this life, and that Day come on you unexpectedly. For it will come as a snare on all those who dwell on the face of the whole earth. Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man" (Luke 21:34-36).

The book of Revelation gives us more details about those who will be protected and those who will not. The letter to the Church of Philadelphia states, "Because you have kept My command to persevere, I also will keep you from the hour of trial which shall come upon the whole world, to test those who dwell on the earth. Behold I come quickly! Hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown" (3:10-11). The Philadelphians are the only ones whom God promises to shield from the horrible destruction and persecution to come. The letter to the Laodiceans, however, shows that they shall walk a different path: "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent" (v. 19).

What, then, are the differences between these two groups? To the Philadelphians, Jesus said, "I know your works. See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it; for you have a little strength, have kept My word, and have not denied My name" (v. 8). The message starts out the same for the Laodiceans: "I know your works…” but it certainly does not end the same"...that you are neither cold nor hot.... So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of My mouth. Because you say, `I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing'—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see" (vv. 15-18).

The Philadelphians are promised to be protected during the Great Tribulation because they will have kept God's command to persevere or, as the King James Version says, "kept the word of [God's] patience" (v. 10).

Looking at the meaning of the names of the last two eras of God's Church may help reveal some characteristics of each. According to Strong's Greek concordance, Philadelphia means "fraternal affection," "brotherly love" or "love of the brethren.” The same source indicates that the name Laodicea is a combination of two words—laos, which it defines as "people," and dike, which is defined by Strong's as "judgment.” Smith's Bible Dictionary defines Laodicea to mean "justice of the people.” Might the term Laodicean convey that the predominant characteristic of this Church is that the people rule, the people judge—or even that the people are judgmental? Perhaps it indicates people who judge everyone else when they themselves are the ones with the real problems! For more information on the eras of the Church, please request our free booklet God's Church Through the Ages.

Future Shock!

We've seen that God will not keep the Laodiceans from the Tribulation to come. So what, specifically, will happen to them? Much of the answer may lie in the book of Lamentations, which details that time: "The tongue of the infant clings to the roof of its mouth for thirst; the young children ask for bread, but no one breaks it for them.... Those slain by the sword are better off than those who die of hunger; for these pine away, stricken for lack of the fruits of the field. The hands of the compassionate women have cooked their own children; they became food for them.... Our pursuers were swifter than the eagles of the heavens. They pursued us on the mountains and lay in wait for us in the wilderness" (4:4-19). This book, written by the Prophet Jeremiah, foretells what will happen to the modern-day descendants of Israel. That includes the American people, and the British-descended peoples of nations such as the United Kingdom, Canada, South Africa, etc. (for a full explanation of the identity of modern-day Israel, please write for our free brochure, America and Britain in Prophecy). And indications are that it will also include some of spiritual Israel (cf. Gal. 6:16)—converted Christians in the Church of God!—as well (cf. 1:4; 2:20; 5:21-22). Now some argue that these prophecies have already been fulfilled—around the fall of Jerusalem in A.D. 70. But they fail to consider that Jesus said the Great Tribulation of the end time would be the most horrible episode in human history! (Matt. 24:21 ). Thus, we can look at the most horrifying events that have happened in the past and still realize that the coming Tribulation will be even worse.

Matthew 24:22 states that "unless those days [of the end-time crisis] were shortened, no flesh would be saved..:' Nevertheless, though the situation appears bleak-almost hopeless-the verse concludes, "...but for the elect's sake those days WILL be shortened.” Yet even before it begins, God will deliver some of His Spirit-begotten children from the physical terror of the Tribulation. He'll deliver the remnant of the Philadelphians! For Jesus says, "But not a hair of your head shall be lost" (Luke 21:18). ,

Our study thus far has been sobering, yet hopeful. And it inevitably brings to mind a question that hits close to home: Are most of God's people going to go to a place of protection or are most going to go through the Tribulation? The answer, of course, is that we don't know for sure. But the Bible seems to give us some clues!

Daniel 7 addresses the time of the Tribulation: "The ten horns are ten kings who shall arise.... And another shall rise after them; he shall be different from the first ones, and shall subdue three kings. He shall speak pompous words against the Most High, shall persecute the saints of the Most High, and shall intend to change times and law. Then the saints shall be given into his hand for a time and times and half a time" (vv. 24-25).

The bolded expression above seems to suggest that many, if not most, of the saints will be in the Tribulation. We might even think it would lie all the saints. But we know this cannot be since the book of Revelation says the Philadelphians will be kept from the hour of trial (3:10) protected from the "presence of the serpent" (cf. 12:14). God will in some way separate Christians living when these terrible calamities finally come upon the world. Some will be protected-many, however, will not! (3:16).

So why would God allow a part of His Church to go through the Tribulation? Daniel 11 states that since "some of those of understanding shall fall, [it takes fiery trials to] refine them, purge them, and make them white" (v. 35). What a powerful warning!

God gives the same warning in Revelation 3, counseling end-time Laodicean Christians to accept rebuke and chastisement-to buy "gold refined in the fire" (vv. 18-19). Even when Babylon the Great is clearly evident on the world scene, it seems that God's people still need to be warned: "And I heard another voice from heaven saying, `Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues"' (18:4).

Riding Others' Coattails?

Jesus said, "Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming.... Blessed is that servant whom his master, when he comes, will find so doing" (Matt. 24:42, 46). He also said, "Watch therefore, and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass" (Luke 21:36). Also, look at this warning in the book of Ezekiel: "Son of man, when a land sins against Me by persistent unfaithfulness, I will stretch out My hand against it; I will cut off its supply of bread, send famine on it, and cut off man and beast from it. Though these three men, Noah, Daniel, and Job, were in it; they would deliver only themselves by their righteousness.... They would deliver neither sons nor daughters; only they would be delivered, and the land would be desolate" (14:13-16).

Thus, depending on others will not save you. That's why Paul says in Philippians, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling" (2:12). Looking at it another way, some-seeing Global as representing the bulk of God's Philadelphia Church-may conclude that being in Global is a "ticket" to the place of safety. But it just doesn't work that way.

All indications are that we're now living during the Laodicean era of God's Church. That means that of all truly converted Christians, many, if not most, are Laodicean. And Laodiceans are not confined to other groups. No doubt, we have our share of them right here in Global! That means you could be one. I could be one. Any of us could be a Laodicean. And if so, we need to make some big changes. Otherwise, God will resort to drastic measures-putting us through the worst trial in human experience.

So what are we now to do, individually, to be delivered and to avoid the consequences of the Great Tribulation? We've already seen that we are to watch world events (Luke 21:36) and, even more importantly, our own lives (1 Cor. 11:31). Luke 21:36 also tells us to pray-pray that we will be accounted worthy to escape. Moreover, we must pray that our flight will not be on the Sabbath or in the winter (Matt. 24:20). And we are to ask God to help us repent now so we won't need to be severely chastened later.

The Philadelphians have kept God's "command to persevere" (Rev. 3:10) and are told to "hold fast what you have, that no one may take your crown" (v. 11 ). Perhaps this is a warning not to be swayed by doctrinal changes contrary to our core, fundamental beliefs. We saw that we were to be "so doing"-that is, to be continuing in this way of life-when Jesus returns (Matt. 24:46). We need to have works of which God approves (Rev. 3:8). We must be hot—not lukewarm (v. 15).

Mr. Armstrong thought that converted Christians who took part in doing the Work were going to be protected. He wrote about true Christians being "protected until this tribulation... [is] over (Rev. 3:10-11)—applying to those faithful in God's Work now going to the world (Rev. 12:14; Is. 26:20). But YOU must make your own decision-and to neglect doing so is to have made the wrong decision! God isn't kidding! This is for real!... The decision in now yours!" (The United States and British Commonwealth in Prophecy, 1975, p. 60).

And, of course, he was right—the decision is yours. We all need to heed God's warning to the Laodiceans. For more information on the protection God will give to the end-time Philadelphians, please write for our free reprint article, "Will There Be a Place of Refuge?"

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As Christian women today, what do we consider to be our greatest challenge? And what , do we feel should be our greatest accomplishment? How do we judge our life? By what ruler or measure? Do we most want to copy Martha Stewart, Oprah Winfrey, or perhaps Madeleine Albright or Cindy Crawford? Some of us probably do.

For this world often equates success and even human worth with outward appearance and accomplishments. But is this the real measure of a Christian woman?

And what about how we look? The Bible offers many guidelines on fashion and beauty. But even so, do we consider our personal appearance to be our most important quality?

How about other areas of life? Do the pressures of Western society in the 90s make us feel as if we need to do more than we're capable of? Does juggling family, work and homemaking responsibilities take so much effort that we don't feel we do justice to any one area? Just what does God expect of a Christian woman today?

Working Women

Many wives feel that it's difficult for them to relate in a Christian way with their husbands because of the types of jobs these women hold, especially if they are successful businesswomen. For in general, women today are playing a much bigger role in business, politics, entertainment and government-and these opportunities are growing quite rapidly. And make no mistake, these same opportunities also influence the way we as women think and act, our perspective on life and how we relate to those who share our personal time.

Some women today wind up being a "helpmeet" to their company or their boss, rather than to their husband and family. Many women in the 70s and 80s felt that what they needed was self fulfillment. So they left home, placed their children in daycare or made them "latch-key" kids, and sought a career of some kind. During this time, many of those who did stay home to raise their children saw themselves as failures. Why? Because society labeled them as such.

But in the 90s, most women have come to realize that a career doesn't always provide the fulfillment it promises. And many of those who themselves grew up as latch-key children have vowed not to let that happen to their children. Thankfully, the pendulum has seemingly swung back, as society has begun to recognize home and family to a greater extent. Even many women executives are admitting that having and raising a family gives them more joy and fulfillment than their job.

Today, however, the problem in many homes is that more and more women have to work to keep the family afloat financially. And the "playing field" is a little different than the workplace our mothers or grandmothers may have faced. With state-of-the-art technology readily available in the home, many women don't have to commute. They can work for many companies right from their own living room or even operate a home-based business. But there are still obstacles. These women face the challenge of how to properly arrange their priorities, since it's so easy to allow the computer, pager or telephone to rule their lives! And not having the time to do everything that needs to be done is both overwhelming and frustrating.

For some women, then, the biggest challenge of the 90s is how to be successful stay-at-home businesswomen who bring in supplemental income for the family, yet are still able to give their children and husbands quality time. And many women have been successful on both counts. For others, though, it may be a lifelong struggle—never striking the right balance between job and family.

But of all the challenges in today's world that the Christian woman faces, there is one that towers above all others. No matter if she is a full-time mother and homemaker, or a successful businesswoman. No matter if she obsesses over weight and physical appearance, or if she is quietly self confident. For whatever personal trials and problems we may or may not face as individual women, the most important challenge of all is something each of us faces. In fact, it is the same challenge women of God throughout the centuries have faced—the challenge of being a virtuous woman!

Our God-Ordained Role

We know by what the Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy and Titus that a woman should not be ordained to the ministry. Paul adequately explains why: we are to be under the leadership of and obedient to our husbands. God created man first and then woman, to be a suitable helper and companion to the man. These are the things we should be teaching our daughters and granddaughters.

Paul tells Timothy what a woman should be like, how she should dress, and the fact that her real adornment should rather be good works and modesty—not what she wears. He also says that a woman should not be the spiritual leader of a man or usurp his authority, but learn in silence, with a willing attitude, not being contentious or argumentative (1 Tim. 2:9-15).

In Titus, Paul also states that the older women (whether by actual age or by years in the faith), are to be good examples of holiness or godliness, teachers of the right way to live. Yes, a woman should be able to teach—but whom? Paul gives us the answer. Mature women should "admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands" (2:4-5). Why? So that the Word of God is not held in disregard!

Peter also instructs wives to be submissive or yielding to our own husbands. He adds that our adornment should be that of a meek and quiet, or gentle, spirit ( 1 Peter 3:4). Why? Because in God's sight, this is very precious! So how are we doing in this area? Are we by nature quiet and gentle? Or do some of us need to work on this quality? Of course, no woman has to be a wall-flower or doormat. What is meant rather is that we are not to be loud and boisterous, or contentious or resistant to our husbands (Prov. 19:13). For "an excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones" ( 12:4).

Peter says that the faithful women of old were submissive to their own husbands, just as Sarah was, calling him lord or master. Now this was the custom in that day and does not mean a wife is to call her husband lord or master today. That's not really what we do in our culture. Nevertheless, we must treat our husbands as such. For we are all Sarah's "daughters" if we do good to our husbands, showing them due respect as our leaders (1 Peter 3:5-6). This must have been one of the traits that made the women we read of in the Bible attractive and that inspired Peter to call them "holy women.”

Of course, we should remember that Peter also instructs husbands to live with their wives with understanding, giving us honor as the weaker vessels (v: 7). Now we should all understand that the Bible does not say women are weaker in mind and spirit. But our bodies are generally smaller than men's, and we most often do not have the same physical strength. From the beginning, God charged the male to care for, provide for and protect the female. Why? Because men and women are heirs together of the grace of life! This principle is so important, that, according to Peter, even the prayers of men who don't show their wives understanding are hindered!

Yet some women do live in a home where the husband does not give them honor and does not treat them fairly. If this describes your situation, what should you do? The first step is to take the situation to God in prayer and ask for wisdom on how to cope. Ask God to help you discuss it with your husband and help him to really see himself and what he is doing. If things don't change, pastoral and family counseling may be necessary.

The Virtuous Woman

Most of us know that Proverbs 31 portrays a godly and virtuous woman. It is often used as a model of true womanhood in the sight of God. Just one problem—many women "tune out" to its message because they may have trouble relating to examples from thousands of years ago. So what can we take from this important Bible passage to apply to women of the 90s? These verses are so important because they tell us by what standard we as women should be measuring ourselves. This is an important yardstick of godly womanhood! The word used here is "virtuous," meaning of high moral and noble character. Are we this kind of woman? The question asked in this passage, "Who can find a virtuous woman?," means that such women are probably in rather short supply. Then notice the price that God places on her. She is far more valuable than any jewel (v. 10).

God shows first of all who, besides Him, should be the most important person in a virtuous woman's life—her husband (if she is married, of course). His heart trusts in her without any worry because he knows that everything she does will be to help him. She will not bring shame on him in any way or harm him socially or financially because of unwise decisions (vv. 11-12).

Do we as women think to ourselves, "I will do my husband good and not evil, in any way, all the days, minutes and seconds of my life?" Especially when we want to correct him or put him down? Are we willing to spend time reading to our children, caring for them, playing with them, and in general being pulled in the myriad directions required to raise them in a loving, God-fearing way? Even if that means there's not always enough time for our needs and desires? Are we willing to get up early in the morning—before sunrise if need be—to fix breakfast for our husbands? Now many men don't require this or even expect it of their wives. But would we be willing to if it were required of us?

Notice how else the virtuous woman keeps busy. In Old Testament times, she might have purchased some real estate. In today's world, however, that would most often be a major purchase involving the whole family. But assuming she has funds available to use at her discretion, a prudent woman of the 90s might want to invest some money to help her family in the future—maybe buy some stock, some savings bonds, or start a small, home-based business. Now this may not always be possible, since individual husbands may set up their family's financial plan differently. But if our husband allows us to, and we act wisely, he should come to respect and value our involvement in the family's financial welfare. Just as the virtuous woman's spouse, he will come to safely trust in us—that is, if we too are virtuous. Husbands should know what we can do. And we, in turn, can expect their encouragement if we work together as a team for the family.

You see, there should be no competing in marriage. Each spouse should know the responsibilities that God has given them. A virtuous wife should never try to take over her husband's leadership, just as he should not be domineering and abuse his position.

Though originally written during Old Testament times, these principles are as valid and important today as always. That's why we need to relate them to our day and age. Notice that the virtuous woman is clothed with strength and honor. That means she is trustworthy and has a good reputation. She is also mentally and emotionally strong, able to resist negative forces. Are we this kind of woman? Can we continuously focus on our calling and on the responsibilities God has given us? Remember that if we righteously judge ourselves and make the changes necessary to follow His path, God won't have to do it for us!

Notice that even more important than what we do is what we are. The virtuous woman doesn't praise herself. Rather, her works do—her deeds of kindness in the community. Her children honor, love and appreciate her. And her husband is proud of her and praises her.

A Lasting Legacy

Those of us who are wives may ask ourselves, "Is the law of kindness always on our tongues, not only to others we meet in our day-to-day lives, but also to our family? Do we speak kindly, tenderly and gently to our husband and children—or just when it's convenient? Are we full of wisdom when we speak, or do we produce only endless chatter, complaints and gossip?" (cf. v. 26). This is how our children learn—by our example. It's easy to be kind and sweet when everything is going well. The test comes when things are not going the way we want them to. Then what are we like?

Do we give ourselves in service to God, our families and mankind in general? While entertainers and celebrities are doing their thing—fulfilling themselves, becoming famous—the virtuous woman is helping to make her part of the world a better place to live. Her children are Learning to love and fear God through her example and teaching. And her marriage is a sterling model for others. Her respect and love for her husband is genuine. And her love for God is apparent to all! Because of this, her reward is not only in the future Kingdom of God, but also now as she is praised by others for her kind and generous deeds and good Christian example.

Proverbs 31:28 says, "Her children rise up and call her blessed." Do our children call us blessed? Have we earned their love and respect? Does our husband praise us? "Many daughters have done well [accomplished much, earned degrees, had successful careers], but YOU [the virtuous woman] excel them all"! (v. 29). Why? Because "charm is deceitful, beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised"! (v. 30 NKJV, 1988).

This is what we should be teaching our daughters and granddaughters. What they accomplish in life is important, but much more important is what they are and what they become. Their greatest challenge will be measuring up to the timeless principles of this age-old proverb. Times change, fashion comes and goes, but this challenge will always remain the same. Not only for women of the 90s, but for all Christian women for all the ages to come. And that challenge is to be a virtuous woman—the greatest achievement and success that any of us can attain!

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While I was in college, there was a kind, gentle lady who lived near us and would often visit the campus. Everyone called her "Grandma." She spent a lot of time with the students, and would offer priceless tidbits of sage advice. One morsel I’ll never forget: "Be careful what you ask for—you just might get it!"

You see, Grandma saw a principle at work in our lives—especially in the area of romance and relationships. How many guys or girls had she seen try to force their will on God, asking and insisting that a certain relationship would work out, instead of truly seeking His will in the matter? Just how many relationships—even marriages—had been jumped into prematurely because of putting one's emotions before God's will? And how many divorces and broken homes would follow in the years to come? She could dispense such advice, for she had seen it happen time and again. So I'll never forget her counsel—and its timeless wisdom.

When we pray to God, do we get out a "shopping list" and check off the items one by one? Do we ever give a thought to what God wants for us? We want new shoes, different clothes, a computer or even a car If we are students, we have to make decisions about joining a class or going out for some sport. We have to make choices about career planning and going to college. And, of course, all of us need to make decisions about friendships or relationships. Do we involve God in these decisions? It's good to pray fervently—but are we really asking that our will be done? We should realize that if we insist on our will, God just may grant it and let us live with the sometimes unpleasant consequences.

Asking that God's will be done is a real key to success in our life, both now and in the future. Not surprisingly, ignoring God's will can be a real disaster. Let's Look at a few examples:

When the Almighty instructed Moses to go to Pharaoh and speak to him, he was terrified. Now he might have said, "Yes, God—even though I' m afraid, I know You can accomplish Your will through me.”' But Moses balked and insisted on having a replacement. Let's notice what Moses said in Exodus 4: "O LORD, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” Here was God's reply: "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." But instead of rejoicing in this "vote of confidence" God gave him, Moses said, "O LORD, please send someone else to do it" (vv.. 10-16).

Moses insisted, pleaded and begged God that he not be made the spokesman. Finally, God essentially said, "OK, have it your own way!" Notice what the Lord told Moses: "What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well... He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him" (vv. 14-16 NIV).

Moses did "get his way", but there were unfortunate consequences he had to live with. Since Aaron had become the spokesman, the people looked to him for leadership when Moses was away. Unfortunately, Aaron was too weak to resist their request for a golden calf. Later on, Aaron even confronted Moses in a struggle for power He and Miriam told their brother in Numbers 12, "Has the LORD spoken only through Moses? Hasn't he also spoken through us?" (vv. 1-15 NIV). God knew the future risks and problems that would arise from Moses speaking through a "middle man.” But since Moses insisted on having his way, God allowed it—along with its harmful consequences.

Let's look at another example taken from the early Israelites. They were given the job of taking possession of the land of Canaan. But upon receiving a negative report from spies they had sent there, they defied God's will by not crossing over into that good and fruitful land. Numbers 14 tells us that on this very night, "all the people of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, `If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert!"' (vv. 1-4 NIV). God did grant them their wish—according to their own words. Later in this same chapter, God says, "As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very things I heard you say: In this desert your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me" (vv. 28-29 NIV).

Were the children of Israel sorry for insisting on their own way? Of course! They didn't really want to turn back and traverse the wilderness for 40 long years. In fact, now they said, "We will go up!" But it was too late. They were badly beaten by the Amalekites. So instead of inheriting a land of abundance and prosperity, God had them wander in the desert for 40 years. He let them have their way—because they insisted. And He allowed them to suffer the consequences.

Again, what about us? If we insist on our own way to God, He may allow something to happen in our life that wasn't originally part of His plan for us. And we may not like the consequences. A few years ago, country music star Garth Brooks came out with a song that illustrates this point pretty well. Sometimes we can be thankful that God doesn't give us every request we make.

So, are "unanswered prayers" really unanswered? Or is it just that sometimes the answer is maybe, not now, wait or no? The point is, we should be thankful that God is watching out for us and that, in the end, submitting to His way is always better than insisting on our own way.

On trial, the night before His crucifixion, Jesus Christ felt the inner struggle between His own human will and that of His Father. What, then, did Christ do? He subjugated His own will, determined to follow through with His Father's plan even though it meant His own death. "Father," He prayed, "if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done" (Luke 22:42). Amazingly, "being in agony He prayed more earnestly; and His sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground" (v. 44). Still He persevered: "Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, `O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done"' (Matt. 26:42). If Christ had insisted on His own will in this awful trial, where would you and I be today?

The next time you ask God for something, think about how you're requesting it. God has a plan for each and every one of us. And if we make requests according to His will, He will carry us forward along the path that He has mapped out for us in His mercy and wisdom. But if we insist, beg—even plead—for our will, He may allow us to travel more unpleasant paths of our own choosing. Let's be careful what we ask for—we just might get it!

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There's a question young people often ask themselves as they grow up in the Church. And it even occurs to baptized members at times. The question goes basically like this: "Why can't I go out into the world, make my mistakes and then later repent and come into (or come back to) the Church?" Essentially, they want to know why they can't "enjoy" some sin before repenting of it. Now be honest—have you ever asked such a question? If so, what should the answer be?

I would say that most people in this frame of mind are suffering from "prodigal son syndrome.” It's just how the prodigal son thought in Christ's parable. For those not familiar with this rather uncommon English word, prodigal means rash or wastefully extravagant.

Let's now look at the story in Luke 15. There may be some points you haven't considered before!

The Parable

"There was once a man who had two sons. The younger one said to him, `Father, give me my share of the property now.' So the man divided his property between his two sons. After a few days the younger son sold his part of the property and left home with the money. He went to a country far away, where he wasted his money in reckless living. He spent everything he had. Then a severe famine spread over that country, and he was left without a thing. So he went to work for one of the citizens of that country, who sent him out to his farm to take care of the pigs. He wished he could fill himself with the bean pods the pigs ate, but no one gave him anything to eat. At last he came to his senses and said, `All my father's hired workers have more than they can eat, and here I am about to starve! I will get up and go to my father and say, "Father, I have sinned against God and against you. I am no longer fit to be called your son; treat me as one of your hired workers.’" So he got up and started back to his father.

"He was still a long way from home when his father saw him; his heart was filled with pity, and he ran, threw his arms around his son, and kissed him. `Father,' the son said, `I have sinned against God and against you. I am no longer fit to be called your son.' But the father called to his servants. `Hurry!' he said. `Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet. Then go and get the prize calf and kill it, and let us celebrate with a feast! For this son of mine was dead, but now he is alive; he was lost, but now he has been found.' And so the feasting began.

"In the meantime the older son was out in the field. On his way back, when he came close to the house, he heard the music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him, `What's going on?' `Your brother has come back home,' the servant answered, `and your father has killed the prize calf, because he got him back safe and sound.' The older brother was so angry that he would not go into the house; so his father came out and begged him to come in. But he spoke back to his father, `Look, all these years I have worked for you like a slave, and I have never disobeyed your orders. What have you given me? Not even a goat for me to have a feast with my friends! But this son of yours wasted all your property on prostitutes, and when he comes back home, you kill the prized calf for him! "' (vv. 11-30 Today's English Version).

Wait a minute! Sounds like the lively, fun-loving younger son got the better part of the deal. Didn't he get to "have his cake and eat it too"? Didn't he get to "enjoy" some big mistakes, suffer a bit for it and then return to a party given in his honor—while the obedient older brother stayed outside sulking? Perhaps you want to be like the prodigal son. A lot of kids unknowingly emulate him.

But did the prodigal son really come out ahead in the end? What do you think?

Hammer and Nails

Before we answer that question, let me tell you another story.

There was once a boy named Michael. On his 13th birthday; his father took him out to the backyard where there were some fine old fruit trees. There the man gave his son a new hammer and a container of nails of all sizes. There were small finishing nails, medium-sized nails—even some large spikes. As they stood before one of the trees, the father said, "Mike, over the next few years, every time you do something you know God doesn't want you to do, I want you to come out to this tree and drive a nail into the trunk—a small nail for a small sin and a large nail for a large sin. And every time you correct one of those mistakes, asking God's forgiveness and making amends as best you can, pull one of the nails out.” To which the boy replied, "Sure, Dad.”

And Michael was true to his word. Not surprisingly, over the next few years he drove nails of all sizes into the fruit tree. He pulled some out but, for the most part, the nails and spikes were accumulating. By the spring of his junior year in high school, he noticed that the tree wasn't flowering and wouldn't produce fruit that year. The trunk of the tree was scarred, full of rusty nails. As a result, sap was running down the trunk and insects had infested the bark around the damaged area. The tree had fewer leaves than the others and it looked like it might not survive the next winter.

Of course, Michael had long understood that the tree was a metaphor for his life and character. So he became determined that he would reverse his direction in a number of areas. And as he turned from wrong choices—choices that had made him disobey God—he pulled more and more nails out of the tree. Finally, on the day of his graduation from high school, he called his father into the backyard and with the same hammer he had been given, he pulled out yet another big, rusty spike from the tree's trunk.

"Dad," he said, "I did what you told me. I drove the nails in, but I've also been able to pull some out. Lots of them.”

His father replied, "Michael, you did well to set a different course and be able to pull so many nails out. I'm really proud of you. But look at the trunk of the tree. Scars remain even from the nails that are no longer there. They will be many years in healing, and some damage will always remain in the wood.” Michael understood.

An Important Lesson

The point is this. You can drive all kinds of nails in the tree of your personal life, and then turn and try to pull them out in repentance as best you can with God's help. And it is very important to remember that upon true repentance, God will forgive you and begin the healing process. Indeed, you can always come back to your heavenly Father and, lest you be forever lost, sooner or later you must. But the scars in your life made by the "nails and spikes" you've driven in will remain —even after turning away from those sins. Healing can take many, many years. And, in some ways, you can never go back to where you were before the mistakes were made.

You see, what you do affects you—it changes you. Indeed, some choices affect your whole life—whether for good or for ill. That's why it's always best to choose what God says to do in the first place. For all of His choices are good choices.

And that takes us back to the prodigal son. I didn't quite finish the parable. Let's read the last two verses as the father talks to the son who remained at home: "`My son,' the father answered, `you are always here with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be happy, because your brother was dead, but now he is alive; he was lost, but now he has been found"' (vv. 31-32 Today's English Version).

Notice that the father told the older brother, "Everything I have is yours.” The younger brother's inheritance was gone, and his life was irrevocably changed. There was no "second division" of what remained. No flocks, no property—nothing. In those days he probably would have spent the rest of his life working for his older brother. And he had to live with the scars of the experiences he had while in the foreign land. What you do changes you and your life—whether for your harm or for your good.

One More Thing

Those who suffer from prodigal son syndrome make a second mistake as well. They assume that what God has in store for us is not really the abundant life He promises. But in reality, the instruction God gives in His word is a great blessing.

Peter and the other apostles were once asked by those who came to realize the enormity of their own guilt in breaking God's law, "Men and brethren, what shall we do?" Peter's reply: "Repent and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit" (Acts 2:37-38). Our Father in heaven has made it possible for us to be fully forgiven and cleansed of the guilt of our past "mistakes." And this cleansing begins a journey of abundant life that will last through the end of our days in the human flesh, and lead ultimately into God's Kingdom. God gives us not only a change of life but also a change of mind that begins a process of inward transformation. In fact, He is forming Jesus' own character within us.

Our Father in heaven wants to bring us to immortality as children in His Family. When His Firstborn, Jesus, said, "I am the way," He wasn't kidding. Indeed, Jesus is the only way to life. If you do choose another way for a while, you might find your way back—but there's no guarantee. For many fall by the wayside. And sadly, when some finally do return to God's way of life, they may by that time qualify as "federal disaster areas." But letting God design your life and character from the beginning yields continual blessings.

So choose God's way. Abundant physical life today. Glorified spiritual life forevermore! Let God design and build you, even from your youth.